Remembering Jojo

It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and a lifetime to forget them.........

His real name was Jonathan Brotonel. His family and mine are close for his parents are godfather to my younger brother Derek. He was 2 years my junior.

I was a freshman in college and our Physical Education Class for the 2nd semester was Basketball. I came to the town plaza to practice. Their house is situated just across the plaza. I didn't know he was watching me made a fool of myself. What's odd is - I can hit volleyball, pingpong, bowling, badminton good but never basketball. I guess basketball just doesn't like me. But that was the time when Jojo said he first really noticed me.

June 24th is a much celebrated day in our place. It is the Feast Day of St. John the Baptist, the precursor of Christ. He was the voice shouting in the desert, "Prepare ye the way of the Lord". The organizers collect money from the households and a gathering is held at a place in "Alakaak", a term referring to P. Canubas Street. Everybody goes there to share pancit (lo-mein), bread and juice. When you go there, you have to be prepared and wear something that can get wet, leave things that must not, for surely you will get wet. "San Juan" is always celebrated with water. I remember even in bus or jeepney, people will throw water at you.

San Juan fell on a week-end when I was a college sophomore, so I was in my hometown instead of in Manila. I was in the gathering place, when there appeared Jojo, freshly showered. Nobody dared wet him and I asked everybody why nobody's doing it. There must be something in him that made them all deferential. I got a pitcher with ice and I walked straight to Jojo and poured cold water on him. He blushed.

That was the start of an unforgettable courtship. Whenever we have gatherings like dances, caroling or halloween, Jojo made sure he was there when I was. He will come to our house all dressed up complete with shoes. His normal attire consists of shorts and slippers so when he was all dressed up like that, everybody knew he was gonna come and visit me.

At 16, I was so naive, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I didn't know how to deal with suitors. I felt so shy everytime I'm near him. Nobody counseled me, since I belonged to a generation where it was still old school, parents never talked to children about feelings, relationships. Those were taboos.  I liked him but I didn't want to have a boyfriend while I haven't finished college. Early marriage, disgrace to parents, teen pregnancy, those were shadows looming a teen-ager that time. I have to prove them wrong. So I did what I was good at doing - annoying him.

I have a network of friends and even though we didn't have cellular phones at that time, news traveled fast. Sometimes, I would deliberately hide from him. I knew he was going to our house to talk to me but I would linger on to my cousin Lilibeth's house just to discourage him. One time, he came while my sister and I were washing clothes by hand. My sister Yvette told me "don't worry, Eileen, I got it!" She liked Jojo for me, I guess. But what I did was got all the dirty clothes and washed them all so it would delay my facing him. I thought, maybe he will get tired of waiting for me to finish but he waited patiently, as if seeing me wash clothes by hand is the most fascinating thing in the whole wide world. He was that persistent, and he was that enamored of me.

Our family loves music. My brothers are good guitar players and singers. There was a phase when we liked to record our songs. I remember my brother Ronald replaying the recording he made & while listening, we heard our dogs' bark and my brother saying "Pasok,  (come-in) Jojo". We all laughed so hard for he forgot to turn the recorder off to usher Jojo in in one of his visits.

My cousins Lilibeth, Jane and Gracelee were helping me clean in our house when Jojo came to visit me one time. My 3 cousins pretended working, one was sweeping, one was scrubbing the floor with coconut husk and the other one with a rag just to eavesdrop in our conversation.

His parents bought a house in Quezon City and there was a scheduled blessing. They rented a bus to transfer all relatives and friends they invited for the occasion. Our family was invited but only Dad and myself went. That was one fine gathering and I remember the event was catered by The Aristocrat, a very prominent restaurant.

I can say that Jojo's courtship was one phase in my life that I felt very very special. His family loved me as if I were one of them. They had a high regard for me because they learnt that I wrote Jojo a letter full of advises and good intentions. Plus, they believed in good match. Somebody told them that marriage between Jojo and me would mean good fortune for us. Astrology seemed to agree with that for our zodiac signs are the most compatible -- Pisces and Cancer. He was born July 13.

I remember my friends teasing me "Balita ko Eileen, iiwanan daw ang pari sa blessing pero di ikaw" (It means "Eileen, I heard, they can leave the priest behind for the blessing but not you"). Every member of their clan knew me. All of his family and relatives knew me.  A visiting relative from overseas would come and Jojo will take them to our house to see me. It was really very flattering. But I did not feel very special at that time. I viewed it from the negative side.

At that time, I was very obstinate. My close friends knew that character of mine. I didn't like it at all that I saw it then as "opportunistic", that Jojo was putting me in a position where no other suitor can come in because he was already branding me as "his". I hate it when people are putting words in my mouth. So I made the decision to turn him down even though I really liked him. I even had a theme song for him. It was "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins. It was the most apt song for us, I thought, because I was older, and by that time he was always seen in company of wayward youth or let's say misguided juveniles; and there were lots of odds to hurdle. Some people said I would be better off without him, but I knew I was the only one who really knew him at all.

I remember my sister challenging me before, saying "so you're gonna wait for Jojo all your life?" to gauge how much I feel for Jojo.  I said "It'll take just 2 years after I graduate before he does!" Another board-mate of ours chimed in "what if he doesn't finish it on time? You'll still be there against all odds?"

I was chosen Reyna Elena (Queen Helen, the most important character in the festival) in the Santacruzan (May Flower Festival) that year and Jojo was my partner. He ordered fresh orchids for me. All throughout the route, he was so caring and attentive, never left me, fanning me when it's hot, offering me drinks. A perfect gentleman. The long route of the procession didn't seem that long when you were having a good time. 

The moment I said NO, Jojo distanced himself from me. He focused his attentions on other girls whom he didn't notice before because he was truly "into me". But I knew his feelings didn't go away. I can still feel it during the times we see each other afterwards. Even if he already had a girlfriend!  And he still kept the picture of the two of us together in his bedroom.

The last time I saw him was in the bus station going to our hometown. He already saw me as early as I was still walking towards the bus, then I saw him the moment I lifted my eyes as I got up, he was smiling at me. He was wearing red shirt and jeans He did not invite me to sit beside him, he just stood there, all smiles, and I thought he was with somebody. And so I went to the back of the bus and sat there. When we reached our destination, he walked ahead of me and did not wait. Later on, I learned from his father that he got hurt that I did not want to sit beside him and that was the reason why he did not pay for my fare. I never thought that that would be the last time I will ever see him alive.

A few weeks or months after that, my cousin Cyril Alcazar went home for the week-end and I did not. When she went back, the first thing she told me was "Ate Eileen, si Jojo..." I did not even let her finish, and I said "what? he got married? that's good!" Then she chastised me saying "stupid, he died!" I said "are you serious?" Yes, I am! she replied. Then she proceeded to tell me how everyone was trying to contact me long distance, but nobody can get through. What's puzzling was, the phone was not busy all day.

Cyrill said that there were a lot of people at the funeral and that there were 2 girls crying their hearts out there. His girlfriend Essel and another ex-girlfriend from Batangas West High School. She even joked "you would  have been the 3rd had you been there."

After it all sank in, my first thought was "God, forgive me for all the sins I've committed towards Jojo". After I turned him down, I think I tried to rub it in for I once went to their house in Sampaloc with the guy everybody knows I like, even though he was not my boyfriend. But Jojo took it all in like a man, he was still corteous and nice, very hospitable towards us.

That night, I had a nightmare. I couldn't get out of it and my first thought was, if I die tonight, then people will say I died because Jojo died. Praying the Apostle's Creed, which, my mom told me is a very powerful prayer, was what made me wake up that night. I recited it over and over until I woke up.

Evening and morning and at noon, I will pray and cry aloud; and He shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17

A couple of days after, I received a phone call from Daddy Quirino (Jojo's dad). When he said hello, I can swear I thought it was Jojo talking to me until he continued to talk and I determined it was really him. He told me what happened, how Jojo was talking outside with a pregnant lady in the gate of their house when a big truck came rushing in, apparently dragging a live wire from the electric post which electrocuted Jojo and the pregnant lady. Daddy Quirino told me how there were lots of people who attended the funeral and how he wished it was a wedding instead; that Jojo told him about the last time we saw each other. I felt really bad at what I did. If I had known, I would have made it memorable for him.

The following week-end, I went home. I bought candle holders and a roll of cake which I brought to Jojo's parents. How they cried when they saw me. I was with Glenda and Kathleen when I went to their house. On the way home, we passed by the bank and as I was walking ahead of them, I smelled the beatiful fragrant camia scent. When they caught up with me, I asked them if they smelled the camia flower over there. Glenda looked at me as if I was out of my mind and she blurted out "Tange, ang tagal na kayang walang camia dun?" (Stupid, the camia plants are no longer there for a long time already). I believe Jojo was happy to see me see his parents and that the fragrant smell was from him.

The first All Souls' Day after Jojo's death, I picked a red rose flower from my mom's garden and brought it to Jojo's tomb. I told Mommy Josie and Daddy Quirino, this is for Jojo coz he never gave me roses. He gave me orchids. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.... 1Corinthians 13:4-8 

That is the kind of love Jojo had for me. It was too late when I realized how pure and true Jojo's feelings for me was.

I've grown closer to his family after he died. Jojo kept our ties alive. His two sisters, Madonna and Shellaine have become two of my best buddies.

I have seen Jojo at least 4 times in my dreams since I lived here in Florida. I remember telling my aunt Nieves about it over the phone.. I told her I have had dreams of Jojo and they were all good dreams. He looks young and smiles a lot in my dreams. It was like old times. I want to think that Jojo still looks after me even there where he's at. I always say a little prayer for him when I dream about him and in times when he enters my mind.

For what it's worth, I can bravely say now that Jojo will always have a special place in my heart.

For those of you who will read this, I want to tell you this: that time is short. Who or what we may have today can be gone tomorrow. Any kindness we can show today, we have to do it now. For we may not pass this way again..... God bless!

I am adding this as an afterthought:

I have always asked why God did not allow me to come home that weekend for his funeral. The reason that came to me then and even until now - is that God probably did not want me to see Jojo laying in a casket. He doesnt want to tarnish my memory of him but wants me to remember him as I always have," curly haired ever smiling young vibrant loving Jojo". That is also the reason I was given for not being able to come home for Dad's funeral.

On a more personal note, though, I think Jojo spared me the pain because he might have known it would have affected me a lot. That just proved how much he loved me indeed! I miss you, Jojo. Thank you for your love. I wish I was worthy of it....