His work at the Department of Agrarian Reform brought him to a lot of places for conference or assignments. And whenever he came home, he had a present just for me. My two brothers didn't seem to mind at all. Two presents stayed in my memory. The red native hand woven dress from
When we were young, Daddy loved to show us off to his drinking buddies. He would call us to sing to them. I was always glad to do it. My brother Ronald (Kuya) used to do it all the time too, but there was once an instance when he didn't feel like doing it. His best repertoire when we were little was the song "Mama". Kuya's singing voice is really very good! That night, Daddy called him to sing. Kuya said, "I don't want to". It was our custom that you don't put your parents to shame, so my daddy whipped him in the butt, then ordered him to sing. With tears in his eyes, Kuya sang for him.
I guess I had a nice voice when I was little too, for one of Dad's friend and relative Danding Brotonel used to call me Nora Aunor (a famous singing superstar in the
I remember one time, when Daddy was stationed in Laguna if I remember it right, he brought me to their company Christmas Party. I had a white shoulder bag then that Ate Yvette gave me during one of her visits. I still recall being placed on top of a working desk to sing and sing and sing. Everybody gave me money for my singing that my little shoulder bag became full of big 1 peso coins. Later on, dad brought me to visit Ate Yvette in
My dad used to carry me all the time in his arms until I got too heavy for him, I guess. I remember him checking our hair for lice when we were little. If we had it, he will wash our hair with powder called "sevin", a chemical used to kill fungus in plants. He would order us to take a nap in the afternoon when we were little, and when we wake up, Mom already had snacks waiting for us.
Wherever Daddy was, Derek was there too. He was his pride and joy. He even had a term of endearment to him. He would call him "Lodrigo" in a melodious voice. My uncles would tell how my Dad would have bought him a car had Derek asked for one at that point in time.
Then Onjon came. He was the new apple of the eye. They were the new magnets. One time, Daddy was with his drinking buddies in Pook, when Onjon asked him if they can go home already. Daddy said "in a little while." As the night progressed, Onjon asked him again times and was met with the same answer. Then after a while, he told Daddy "If you won't leave and take me home, I will turn this table over! (pertaining to where the liquor and the "pulutan" (appetizer) was.) And Daddy said the same thing. So what Onjon did was just what he said he will, and the glasses and the liquor and everything on the table fell to the ground. What Daddy and his friends did? Laughed it out and spread the story. And so Onjon got his wish.
We had 2 passenger jeepneys when we were small. Both of them were driven and making money for us. I remember Daddy having a big empty can of pineapple juice which he used as a piggy bank. All of the coins the drivers would give at the end of the day went to that bank. One time, when Onjon was about 3 or 4, he was the king of the world so he was the one privileged to put the coins in the can. He did it so fast that Daddy was amazed how he did it. When Onjon stood up, a lot of peso coins fell from his pockets to the floor. Dad didn't get mad, just lovingly told him to put them back in the can.
When I was in grade school, Daddy and I used to shop for my dress before every school year's closing ceremony. Daddy would take me to Lemery to shop for my dress. That was because I got first honors from 1st to 6th grade and no one can take his pride of being the one to pin the ribbon or medal on me. I never complained nor disliked any of the dress that he bought for me, though in all honesty, they were not very pretty. I was just so happy he bought them. That is why I can not understand how my daughter MJ would always say "I don't like it" 90% of the time when I buy something for her.
He was a loving father. He used to bring home something for us everyday when he comes home from work. Normally, he would bring bread, or something special whenever he wins from one of his vices -cockfighting. Before he got issued a company vehicle, he commuted to and from work everyday. Whenever we hear the jeepney slowing down in the afternoon, all of us kids will rush and race towards the road for we knew Daddy had something for us. It only stopped when one of us almost got run over by the jeepney one time. After that, no more treats anymore when he came home.
My dad was a stingy person. He didn't like to spend on a lot of things except for the animals and his visitors and his sisters. We could afford it, but we lived frugally. It was Mommy who bought a lot of things in our house from her salary. We could afford to pay cash for our 1st refrigerator, but he chose to do it installment instead. Our first television was a hand-me-down from Inay, mom's mother. So was our sofa; And our bed; And the sewing machine. When we were in high school and college, his favorite line was "I have no money."
I remember my brother asking him for money one time and as usual, he said he has no money. The following day, he bought a cow paid for in cold cash. But he had no money! Duh!
Though he did not like spending a lot for what he termed unimportant things for us, Daddy provided for our allowances when we were in college. He paid for my brothers' tuition fees, too! It must have been hard sending 3 children to college at a time. For my sister, myself and my Kuya Ronald were in college simultaneously and when Ate Yvette graduated, it was Derek's turn. Onjon was fortunate to be the only one they had to send to college too in his time. That is why he took advantage of it, I supposed. He took 2 years Hotel & Restaurant Management certificate course. He graduated and my dad paid for his graduation fees. Then he decided to continue for another 2 year for his bachelor's degree. He decided to join the graduation again, which, my Dad paid for (again)!
I guess he got so comfortable in getting allowance without working for it that Onjon decided to quit his short-lived job to take a caregiver course which cost a lot of money to take. My stingy but generous Dad, paid for his allowance (again!) while Kuya Ronald paid for his tuition.
Daddy was always proud of his children that he would always brag about them. Ate Yvette was a scholar and mathematician. Kuya Ronald was President of his class. Derek plays good basketball. I always win school contests. Onjon looks like John Estrada, to name a few.
He would boast about how his apo's (grandkids) are good looking. When people asked where his house was, he would answer "Pag nakakita ka na ng magagandang bata, yun ang bahay amin." (When you finally see pretty and handsome kids, that is where I live!) And that was even before my Fil-am kids were born! He had a pet name for MJ when she was a baby. He called her "ang-ang".
From college to working days, me and my sister lived in the city, coming home at least once every 2 weeks. When we failed to come home for 2 weekends in a row, he would tell Mommy: "it's like having kids overseas, for you hardly can see them anymore". Those proved to be prophetic words, for 3 of us out of 5 children now live outside of the Philippines.
When John came to visit the Philippines the 2nd time and it was established that I will migrate here with him, Daddy's last words to John before he left was "John, take care of Eileen!"
My only regret is that he was never able to carry my Fil-Am kids in his arms. When Jonei was born, he loved talking to her even if she cannot talk yet. He wanted me to put the earpiece on Jonei so she can hear him say "Hello, Jonei"!
I was pregnant with Peter when he was hospitalized prior to his demise. While we talked on the phone, he asked me when will I give birth to my son (for we knew his gender already from the sonogram). That was late March or early April of 2007. I told him "July". His reply was "July pa?" (that long?) He might have felt that he will not be able to see him anymore.
I told him to get better so he can come here to visit for he always wanted to come see me in Florida. He was telling all my relatives and friends there that he would come visit me. I do not know but something prompted me to pray with my Dad that time, which I never thought I would have the guts to do.
As we were praying, somebody who came in the hospital to visit him asked who he was talking to. I heard the pride in his voice when he said "Si Eileen. Ipinagdadasal ako." (It's Eileen. She was praying for me). It turned out to be my last conversation with him.I was not able to talk to him after he came home from the hospital. I even got mad at Mommy for not connecting the cordless phone I sent.
He was too tired to come to the phone and refused to talk to me when I called the house phone. I even made Mom promise that she will text me if the phone was already connected. But Mommy did not understand what I wanted and was waiting for my call instead. So I almost fainted when I got Tita Lina's call that he died.
For whatever reason which only He knows, God wanted that hospital conversation to be the last for me and my Dad. And I will forever be thankful to my husband John for allowing Peter to be my Dad's namesake.
Not being able to come home for the funeral was another God-only-knows situtation for me. The only thing that comes to me is that God did not want me to see Daddy in a casket the way He did not made me see Jojo (a person very dear to my heart) when he died.
But God allows me to see Daddy in my dreams. Every time I miss him, I would always dream of him. In one of them, it answered my regret about him not seeing Peter at all. I saw Daddy in the car with Peter. My dreams about him were mostly him being there for me. When I have questions in my mind about him, God answers it through dreams.
I thought the pain of losing him went away already but I just learned that it still hasn't, or that it might not. It just lies dormant for a while and when something triggers it, you feel it all over again. Twice, I saw Peter displaying Daddy's mannerisms. Sometimes, I would hear a song and I would be reminded of Daddy.
Today at the Father's Day service in the church, I was crying for I miss Daddy so much. I am crying as I was writing this too.
I was blessed to have surrogate Dads here where I'm at and I am thankful for them but I guess nothing can compare to my Dad.
Thank you very much Lord for giving me my Dad even though not for as long as I want it to be. He was not perfect, but he loved me and he's all that I got next to You. I praise Your name for the privilege of Your love and care through my earthly father. You gave him to me for You know he was the best person for the job. Eternal rest grant unto him o Lord, and let your perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.
